I have lost it, many of my friends have lost it. A place once called home is no longer. Very difficult to accept in the first place, but reality has to push me to accept the inevitable.
After 10 years, I should be able to acclimatise into my new environment. There is no magic in this. Just need time.
I now feel like my forebears who took the hardest route to quit another fuckened place.
Every decision is necessarily painful and remote to success.
Hope that the task gets easier each time.
Aug 12 is an important day. May my great tengri serves me a break. If I am successful, I promise to be good.
Actually I can't wait to return to my birth place and hope to help some people. It may not be much. But it should be a good start. My means are humble but who cares about the humility. It is the heart that counts.
Through the years, people from my birth place had become plastic. It is sad but I still believe I owe it to the older generations for nurturing me to what I am today. I may not be much but I do feel a connection to my past. Maybe this sanity keeps me coming back time and again to meet those faces. Those familiar faces.
I believe I am feeling more rooted. May all those who are still struggling like me be at peace. Let time be your guardian. Rome was never build in a day.
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